If I was the evil lord of the world.

1. I would not engage in maniacal laughter or dance parties on simply capturing the hero. Such events would be conducted, safely, after the killing of the hero.

2. If I possess a super-weapon, I will use it as many times as possible and as often as possible. I will not leave it lying in a secret room as a backup device.

3. If the hero and I are engaged in battle, I will never follow him to places with cliffs. In the event that I am on a moving surface, and I see him fall flat on his back - I will fall flat ASAP and not turn around to query why the hero went down.

4. If a messenger informs me of some bad news I will not kill him for depressing me. Good help is hard to come by.

5. If I hold anything of importance on any of my computers I will pad the file up to 1.45MB (a little larger than the size of a normal floppy disk)

6. I will never command my men, "I want him ALIVE!".. only, "shoot at sight, any level of 'life' is acceptable"

7. I will keep all my toxic waste in a secure place and make sure I never have to visit it. I will not build bridges over these containers.

8. If the captive hero asks, "before you kill me, will you tell me why you did all this???". I will shoot him first and then say, "no"

9. I will not have a daughter. No matter how evil she may be, one look at the hero and she will betray her own father!

And lastly:
10. Irrespective of my hatred towards the hero(/captive), I will NEVER say, "Leave him. He's mine!" I will only engage in hand to hand combat if my whole army is dead.

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Next post: "Ten rules I would never break If I was the Hero!"