Thursday, January 05, 2006

Ten rules I would never break If I was the Hero!

Please read the post before this one to make any sense of this one
(the following may not sound like rules, but I shall follow them nonetheless:-)

1. No matter how much people my advertise a swiss army knife, I will not lower myself to using it. Any heroic movie you see will tell you that all a guy needs is a small piece of metal.

2. The best place to hide something would be the villains jacket or on top of the thug's hat.

3. The first thing I need to do to defeat a villain is - check if he has a daughter.

4. If my heroic life starts from my childhood, I shall spend time talking to Japanese people and watch the sunrise. In a few years my martial arts shall help me defeat any little idiot the villain throws at me. Later it will also teach me an important lesson in life.

5. I will always have a 10 year old handy to help me break passwords and crack codes.

6. All my loved ones will be relocated to the villains house. He will never look for them there!

7. If I and the villain are fighting, I will reach out for the most dangerous weapon possible and use it instead of punching him for a few hours.

8. The art of living is something any hero is very well experienced with. I will use this advantage to exhaust the enemies ammunition. (Not 'the art of living'.. the art of staying alive even after being shot a million times)

9. Whenever facing tough odds, I will be at peace since I know the director will introduce some unheard of army that will come to my aid.

And lastly...
10. Being a true hero - I will always be ready for a song and dance sequence!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

If I was the evil lord of the world.

1. I would not engage in maniacal laughter or dance parties on simply capturing the hero. Such events would be conducted, safely, after the killing of the hero.

2. If I possess a super-weapon, I will use it as many times as possible and as often as possible. I will not leave it lying in a secret room as a backup device.

3. If the hero and I are engaged in battle, I will never follow him to places with cliffs. In the event that I am on a moving surface, and I see him fall flat on his back - I will fall flat ASAP and not turn around to query why the hero went down.

4. If a messenger informs me of some bad news I will not kill him for depressing me. Good help is hard to come by.

5. If I hold anything of importance on any of my computers I will pad the file up to 1.45MB (a little larger than the size of a normal floppy disk)

6. I will never command my men, "I want him ALIVE!".. only, "shoot at sight, any level of 'life' is acceptable"

7. I will keep all my toxic waste in a secure place and make sure I never have to visit it. I will not build bridges over these containers.

8. If the captive hero asks, "before you kill me, will you tell me why you did all this???". I will shoot him first and then say, "no"

9. I will not have a daughter. No matter how evil she may be, one look at the hero and she will betray her own father!

And lastly:
10. Irrespective of my hatred towards the hero(/captive), I will NEVER say, "Leave him. He's mine!" I will only engage in hand to hand combat if my whole army is dead.


Next post: "Ten rules I would never break If I was the Hero!"

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Something is always weird in this(or my) Universe!!

I CANNOT believe what just happened!!!

I was sitting in my office reading a presentation on AJAX and suddenly - Déjà vu!

I am One hundred percent SURE that moment had happened before! I had seen everything from the same position!! I was sitting there.. reading the document and suddenly thought - OMG I've seen this before!

and I saw a coffee mug - which I had seen before!
tissues under the coffee mug (cause the base was wet) - which I had seen before!
a guy in a grey sweater in the office on my left - which I had seen before!
4 pairs of 2 pin sockets and 3 of them had plugs - which I had seriously! seen before!

but then it all changed.. as soon as I realised I had seen it - the path of my current universe changed and suddenly I was in a place I had never seen before.

There is not one Universe. It is the creation of multiple ripples that arise from each living being or vice versa.

Having discovered the working of our Universe, I am now at peace.. only till tomorrow when my memory wipes out and I forget:-)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

A not-so-detailed-Chronicle of my first visit to the cinema!

Fellow readers and mental telepathists, I bring to you the story of a young mans visit to the cinema, not so long ago. To help those who have not seen what I have seen... to show those who cannot see what I dream...

Moving on to simple english - I saw the Chronicles of Narnia, the lion the witch and the wardrobe at the Colosseum!

Over here, they call a cinema a Kino (pronounced She-no). The place was great! the seats were awesome!! and the people were so civilised! Nobody ate chips because it makes noise. I could HEAR the silence!

anyways.. talking about the mystical and magical realm of Narnia, its creator Aslan and the witch who witnessed its making - Jadis.

Though story lacks the substance required to convince anyone aged 14+ but its really superhit material for those who do not take their brains to the movies. Some parts seem like they are there only and only to make sure that the story doesnt fall apart, and some parts are unnecessarily long... BUT the animation and the talking animals are awesome!!

Its certainly a pity that they didnt spend more money on this movie and make it a three (or more) part sequential blockbuster (like Lord of the Rings).. I know it has some sequels already lined up, but I would have wanted the story told in this movie to be spread over atleast two movies! They've fast paced it so much, most of it requires some knowledge of the world of Narnia (for which you may contact wikipedia:-).. and I didnt really even like the kids!! I mean.. I should atleast start appreciating the heroes before I hoot for them, right???

The bigger picture is certainly worth a LOT more than they have portrayed, and the story of the movie itself could not have been portrayed any better.

In all, I'd say it was worth the watch! and if you like reading books, it might just convince you to read the seven chronicles.

Not interested in movie reviews??
A little light reading perhaps :-)